1. 一次去海边的旅行
One summer day, my family and I went to the beach. The sun was shining and the sky was blue. I played in the sand and built a big castle. My dad helped me. My mom sat under an umbrella and read a book. We also swam in the sea. The water was cool and fun. At sunset, we ate ice cream and watched the beautiful colors in the sky. It was a happy day!
一个夏天,我和家人去了海边。阳光明媚,天空湛蓝。我在沙滩上玩沙子,建了一座大城堡,爸爸还帮我一起堆。妈妈坐在遮阳伞下看书。我们还在海里游泳,海水清凉又好玩。日落时,我们吃了冰淇淋,欣赏天空美丽的颜色。那是快乐的一天!
✍️点评与重点:使用了简单的时间顺序(one day, at sunset),描述了人物、活动和感受。关键词如“beach, sand, swim, ice cream”是小学阶段常见词汇。适合初学者模仿写作结构。
2. 参观动物园的一天
Last weekend, I visited the zoo with my class. We saw many animals. The monkeys were funny. They jumped and played. The elephants were big and strong. One elephant sprayed water with its nose. The pandas were cute and lazy. They ate bamboo slowly. I took photos with my teacher. We all had a great time!
上个周末,我和班级一起去参观动物园。我们看到了很多动物。猴子很有趣,它们跳来跳去。大象又大又强壮,有一只大象用鼻子喷水。熊猫很可爱也很懒,它们慢慢地吃竹子。我跟老师一起拍了照片。我们都玩得很开心!
✍️点评与重点:使用了“saw, jumped, played, ate”等过去式动词,符合记叙文时态要求。形容词如“funny, big, cute”帮助丰富描写。适合练习“see + animal + action”句型。
3. 爬山的经历
One morning, my dad took me to climb a small mountain. The air was fresh and clean. We walked on a path and saw many trees and flowers. Birds sang in the trees. When we reached the top, I was tired but happy. We could see the whole town. We ate snacks and drank water. It was a great view!
一天早上,爸爸带我去爬一座小山。空气清新干净。我们沿着小路走,看到了很多树和花。鸟儿在树上唱歌。当我们到达山顶时,我很累但很开心。我们可以看到整个小镇。我们吃了点心,喝了水。风景真美!
✍️点评与重点:使用了感官描写(saw, heard, felt),增强画面感。“reached the top, could see”体现地点变化。关键词“mountain, path, view”是旅行类作文高频词。
4. 去乡下奶奶家
Last holiday, I went to my grandma’s house in the countryside. It was quiet and green. Grandma cooked delicious food. I fed the chickens and played with the dog. At night, we sat outside and looked at the stars. There were so many! I learned a lot and had fun. I want to go again!
去年假期,我去了乡下奶奶家。那里安静又绿意盎然。奶奶做了美味的食物。我喂了小鸡,还和小狗玩。晚上,我们坐在外面看星星,星星好多啊!我学到了很多,也玩得很开心。我还想再去一次!
✍️点评与重点:突出“quiet, green, delicious”等形容词,描写环境与情感。动词“fed, played, looked”简单实用。结尾表达愿望,增强文章完整性。
5. 一次坐火车的旅行
My family took a train to the city last month. I liked the train ride. I saw farms, rivers, and hills from the window. I ate a sandwich and drank juice. A kind lady next to me gave me a sticker. When we arrived, we visited a museum. It was exciting and new!
上个月,我们一家人坐火车去了城市。我很喜欢坐火车的感觉。我从车窗看到了农场、河流和小山。我吃了三明治,喝了果汁。坐在我旁边的一位好心阿姨给了我一张贴纸。到站后,我们参观了博物馆。那里既刺激又新鲜!
✍️点评与重点:以“saw, ate, drank, visited”串联事件,逻辑清晰。加入细节“a kind lady gave me a sticker”让故事更生动。适合练习“when we arrived”这类连接句。
6. 去公园野餐
On Sunday, my friends and I went to the park for a picnic. We brought sandwiches, fruit, and juice. We played games like hide-and-seek and tag. After lunch, we flew a kite. It went high in the sky. We laughed and ran. We were tired but happy when we went home.
星期天,我和朋友们去公园野餐。我们带了三明治、水果和果汁。我们玩了捉迷藏和贴人游戏。午饭后,我们放风筝,风筝飞得很高。我们又笑又跑。回家时虽然累了,但很开心。
✍️点评与重点:使用并列动词(brought, played, flew, laughed)展现活动丰富性。“tired but happy”是经典情感表达,适合小学生掌握。句式简洁,节奏明快。
