Why Do We Struggle to Be Happy?
We grew up with these rules: “Don’t bother others,” “Handle it yourself,” “Asking for help is a sign of weakness.” They sound polite. For many of us, they were the first lessons in how to deal with people.
我们是听着这些话长大的：“不要麻烦别人”“自己的事自己做”“靠别人算什么本事？”它们听起来很礼貌，对我们很多人来说，这就是人际交往的第一课。
But here is what we didn’t see coming. These rules taught us to be independent, yes. But they also taught us to be islands. We learned to be afraid of asking for a small favor, terrified of being a burden. We forgot that relationships are built on small troubles.
但我们没想到的是，这些教导让我们变得独立，也让我们活成了一座座孤岛。我们连开口请人帮个小忙都害怕，生怕给别人添了麻烦。我们忘了，关系正是靠这些“小麻烦”建立起来的。
You help me move a box. I buy you coffee. This giving and taking — this is what makes a relationship flow. Without it, the connection dies.
We also learned to hide our weaknesses. “I’m fine,” we say, when we are not. We carry everything on our own shoulders. We hide our true feelings so well that even the people closest to us think we need nothing. But we all need something.
我们还学会了藏起自己的脆弱。“我没事”——我们总这么说，哪怕心里早已翻江倒海。我们把所有事都自己扛着，好到身边最亲的人都以为我们什么都不需要。但人怎么可能什么都不需要呢？
To be vulnerable is not to be weak. It is to be brave. It is the only way to be truly seen, truly loved.
敢袒露脆弱，不是软弱，是勇敢。是被人看见、被人理解的前提。
So why are we, as East Asians, often not happy? It’s not that we don’t know what happiness is. It’s that we are too afraid to lose it. We were told: delay your happiness. It’s a reward for later. We learned to hide our joy and put ourselves last.
那么，我们为什么不快乐？不是我们不懂快乐，而是太害怕失去它了。我们被教育：快乐要延迟，它是一种奖赏。我们学会了把高兴藏起来，把自己放在最后。
After a while, we forgot a simple truth. Happiness is not a prize at the end of a long race. It is a way of being. It is something you can choose, right now.
久而久之，我们忘了一个简单的道理：快乐不是漫长赛程的终点奖品，它是一种存在的方式，是你此刻就可以选择的状态。
So if you did something good today, even a small thing — clap for yourself. If you need help, just ask. Don’t be afraid to be a little trouble. If you are tired, say you are tired. Stop always saying, “I’m fine.”
所以，今天如果你做成了一件小事，哪怕再小——请为自己鼓鼓掌。如果你需要帮助，就开口。如果你累了，就说自己累了，别总说“我没事”。
We spent too much time learning to be strong and never be a burden. Maybe it’s time to learn something new: to be happy for yourself, to speak up for yourself, to make room for your own feelings.
我们花了太多时间学习变强、不给人添麻烦。也许是时候学点别的了：为自己高兴，为自己发声，为自己的情绪留出空间。
And on that day, you will begin to learn happiness all over again.
那一刻，你就开始重新学习快乐了。
本期词汇
-
bother others —— 麻烦别人
-
a sign of weakness —— 软弱的表现
-
islands —— 孤岛
-
a burden —— 负担
-
vulnerable —— 脆弱的
-
delay your happiness —— 延迟快乐
-
a way of being —— 一种存在的方式
你是一个“不喜欢麻烦别人”的人吗？你有没有因为开口求助而让一段关系变得更亲近的经历？欢迎在评论区留言分享。
喜欢的话，别忘了点赞、转发哦~❤️。