No matter who you are, there's always a little bit of fear, a little bit of negativity about the world. But life is our own, if we allow those negative emotions to fill our hearts in the long decades, then it will become very worrying!
In general, many people carry around negative thoughts about life that, if not dismissed and accepted as true, can destroy your confidence and self-esteem...... If you have any of the following negative beliefs, it's time to change something.
I’m a loser. 我是个失败者。
I’m not good enough. 我不够好。
I don’t deserve…. 我不配....。.
No one likes me. 没人喜欢我。
I suck at relationships. 我不会处理感情。
I’m a failure. 我太失败了。
Negative thoughts conjure up bad feelings and hook you into believing that what those old tapes in your head are playing is true. In short, it brings your focus to your failures, and that gets you nowhere。
What can you do? Here are some suggestions:
1. Live in the moment
Self-talk is so subtle that we often don’t notice its effect on our mood and belief systems. Key things to notice are “if only or “what if” statements: the former keeps you stuck in the past with regret, while the latter keeps you fearful of the future. There is nothing you can do about the past, and the future isn’t there yet, so stay in the present moment。
内心的声音太微妙，有时我们根本不会注意到他们对情绪和信念产生的影响。最需要注意的就是“要是....。.多好” 和“假使....。.将会怎样” 这样的想法：前者会让你陷入对过去无尽的悔恨，后者会让你对未来充满恐惧。对于过去，你无能为力，而未来还未到来，好好活在当下吧。
2. Visualize the good things
If we want to change the negative tapes playing in our heads, we have to visualize ourselves positively—that means seeing ourselves non-judgmentally. Picture accepts yourself. How would that look? Draw a picture in your mind and expand on it。
3. Recognize that actions always follow beliefs
Whatever you believe, you’ll experience more of it, and you’ll also find yourself behaving in ways that are congruent with your beliefs. So, start believing the best about yourself: act as if you believe that you’re a valuable and worthy person。
4. Pay attention to triggers
Triggers are anything that can start the old tapes playing. If a certain person is a trigger for you, set boundaries with them。
5. Develop positive counterstatements to refute negative self-talk
Instead of always putting yourself down in your head, think of some things you like about yourself. What are your strengths, and what are you good at? Keep your counterstatements in the here and now, instead of saying “I’m not good enough” try saying, “I am capable. I’m good at it. I accept myself the way I am。”
Thinking poorly about ourselves gets us nowhere and is extremely self-limiting. Decide today to turn off the negative self-talk channel in your mind and develop your true potential。