A boy was born to a couple after 11 years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eye.



When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard.



His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen, totally forgot about the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and fascinated by its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages.



When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified of how to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words.





What were the four words? What is the implication of this story?






The husband just said, “I Love You, Darling.” The husband’s unexpected reaction is proactive behavior.

丈夫只说了一句:“I love you, darling!”他完全出乎意料的反应是先发制人的(即反过来控制局面,而不被局面控制)。


The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother.



Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.



No one is to be blamed. She had lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from her husband.



That is what he gave her. If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world.



Take off all your envy, jealousy, unforgiving attitude, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are not as difficult as you think. “A successful relationship requires falling in love many times — with the same person.”



PS:这故事,主旨是彰显人类选择的自我层次,同一件不幸的事你可以怨天尤人,痛骂社会,甚至自责无穷,但事情却不因这些而改变,这一切只改变了你和日后的生活,负着疤痕的活下去。反之,放下怨恨和惧怕,放下过去,勇敢的活下去,事情的境况并不如想象中的差,这就是作者所说的Proactive Behavior,也就是我们所说的由人转境,而不是被外界事物牵走。很简短的故事,但是,有多少人能做到呢?当我看到那句“I love you, darling!”的时候,心中感慨万千,多么简单的一句话,但要有多久的修炼,多大的包容,多深的人生智慧,才能在那种时刻说出如此令人动容的一句话,每个人都有不想让人所知的不幸事,自己选择了何种方式去面对,又怎么去面对未来以及外围的人及事物呢……?

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